Key to Being…

Worry gives a small thing a big shadow.
~ Swedish proverb

A little bit of stress can increase motivation and boost productivity, but most people positively swim in stress.  There are many common ailments which stress can trigger and overall, stress weakens the immune system.  Learning to handle it well or getting rid of it is one of the best birthday gifts you could give yourself.

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
~Marcus Aurelius

15 tips to manage daily stress:

1. Listen to your body. How does it react to stress?  (e.g. sweating, queasy stomach, jittery fingers, etc).  What situations prompt this reaction?  Once you understand this, either avoid the situation or calm yourself before or as it is happening.  Pay attention to your breath, making sure it’s not shallow.  Make the stomach move out with each inhale, not the chest.
2. Move your body.  Exercise at least 5 times a week¹.  A simple 20 minute walk will do.  (Walking to your car in the parking lot doesn’t count)  Given the choice, walk on grass or earth rather than pavement, which is hard on the joints.  Yoga or Pilates are other great forms of exercise that can be done by anyone and also act to relax the mind.  Find something that suits you.
   Let your food be your medicine.
   ~ Hippocrates
3. Feed your body. Not with junk.  Eat whole grains and avoid white flour and sugar.  Be careful with packaged foods that have a long list of ingredients (most are likely to be highly processed or artificial).  Include a lot of fresh vegetables and fruits in your meals, but be careful to limit fruits and vegetables with high pesticide content (or simply buy organic).  Eat and chew slowly.  Being late for a meeting is not a reason to inhale food.  Learn to manage your schedule to make time for meals.  Avoid caffeine and alcohol when stressed (and smoking, naturally).
4. Make a list. For those lacking a photographic memory, to-do lists are a nice memory crutch and great organization tool.  But don’t let the list dominate the day.  Time takes care of many things.  If it will make you feel better to check things off the list, write the little things that are quick and easy to do. (e.g. feed cat, take garbage out, water plants).
5. Organize. A cluttered desk, room or home increases clutter in your mind, makes things hard to find and is visually irritating.  Throw out or donate old things – anything you haven’t used in a while and are unlikely to use again.  Keep your desk clear.  Even if you temporarily have to shove it all into a drawer, it’ll help you concentrate on the task at hand.  Later, when you need a break, you can clean out that drawer.
6. Single-task. Multi-tasking is still riding high on its “latest rage” position at work, but it actually slows you in terms of productivity.  Stop multitasking to increase your productivity and single-task instead, focusing one one thing at a time.
7. Welcome change. It can be quite stressful to be between the status quo and a big (or medium) size change.  The longer you stay in limbo, the more you prolong and increase stress.  Learn to listen to your inner voice.  What is your ‘gut feeling’ or instinct telling you?  Alternately, try to analyze the situation and make a list of pros and cons for the decision.  Seeing it in writing will help clarify the goal.
8. Laugh…:D.  Watch a comedy, silly show, read a funny book or talk to someone funny.  Laughter has an amazing effect on the body.  Learn especially to laugh at yourself.  Stop taking life so seriously and you’ll start to enjoy it.  Don’t feel like laughing? Laugh anyway.  The body doesn’t understand the difference, only the mind does.
9. Mirror, mirror….  Stand in front of a full-length mirror and look at your body.  Start with the head and work your way down, focusing on each body part individually to feel if there is tension (forehead, eyebrows, ears, neck, etc).  If they are tense, let go and relax.  You can also do this with your eyes closed, as that will help you concentrate on just the feeling in each body part.  Throughout the day remember to relax those areas.
10. Talk to yourself.  Preferably not out-loud in the meat department of the supermarket.  But out-loud at home is great, and especially effective if you look in the mirror while talking.  The mirror is your friend and so if your reflection.  Say to your reflection “All is ok.  I am strong, calm and centered.  I can handle this.  This is a challenge and will help me grow.  Without challenges I would stagnate and not develop.”  Modify these words to your situation.
11. Cry or scream.  Again, preferably not in the meat department of the supermarket.  But lock yourself in your room and throw a tantrum, cry, wallow in self-pity and yell (unless you have close neighbors).  Kids freely do this and don’t have lingering negative emotions.  They let it all out.  Let it out, then pull yourself together, wash your hands and face (or take a shower) to clear away all negative energy and emotion and realize you are strong, calm and centered.  Sit quietly for a few minutes and breathe slowly, all the way into your stomach, in and out.
12. Don’t take it personally. Especially at work.  So a colleague snaps at you and the boss is grouchy and complaining about your report.  You can’t change them but you can change your reaction.  If you get upset because someone is being stubborn or rude, you are allowing them to affect you.  It is your choice how to react. Yes!! If you react in a calm and friendly manner it’s much harder for your adversary to continue insulting you without feeling like an utter heel.
13. Aromatherapy. Make a nice little foot bath or full bath with some warm to hot water.  Add a couple drops of the following essential oils that work to calm the nervous system: lavender, bergamot, marjoram, sandalwood, lemon and chamomile.   Afterward, massage your feet with lotion, castor oil or extra virgin coconut oil.² View the other powerful health benefits of lavender.
14. Slow down.  Ease up on the speed.  Of everything.  Walking, talking, driving, eating, etc.  Check out the slow food movement.
15. Sleep.  Sleep is sadly under-rated these days.  Most people need about 7-8 hours, but it depends on the body.  It’s especially important to sleep in darkness, as that is the time our body recharges and skin regenerates.  Having trouble sleeping? There are many natural and simple ways to help you sleep and also some super foods for a good night’s sleep.
16. Frolic with your pet.  Bonus tip #16 – if you have a furry friend, play, cuddle, take the pooch for a walk, or make your lap available for your kitty.  Studies have shown that pets decrease blood pressure and heart rate and in general help you relax.

Happy circumstances can also create stress

Normally stress results from a negative experience, but it can just as easily occur because of something positive that causes a lot of emotion, e.g. preparing for a wedding, getting a promotion, or going on holiday.

You can’t avoid stressful situations all the time.  It’s simply not practical in our society.  Otherwise I’m sure some would high-tail it to the boss’ office and let a few choice words drop before high-tailing it off to some Caribbean beach.  Yes, the water’s nice there.  But if you can’t avoid it, learn how to deal with stress better.

Forget stress and start living

First: Have faith in yourself.  Too many people doubt their ability to handle a situation well.  We walk in with negative expectations based on past experience.  Second:  The past is over.  Only the present exists.  Get over the past.  You can shape your future by living right now in the present moment or by living in the past.  The past is defined and limited.  The present is without limit and free.  Which would you rather have?  It is your choice.

Under stress, you are only living half your life.  It saps energy, motivation and health.  Take your pick from the 15 tips above and it’ll help you manage the stress and get back to living.

¹ At Least 5 a Week, Chief Medical Officer for England, Professor Sir Liam Donaldson
² ScienceDaily, December 6, 2007, Aromatherapy Massages With Music Dramatically Reduced Stress Levels In Nurses;